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the Silver Screen


A Quarterfinalist in the Screencraft Family Friendly screenplay competition.







The great British icon suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous farce when an illiterate English peasant, Will,  and a black fry cook, Shakespeare, team up to become the world’s single greatest playwright.

It’s still under rewrite but here’s where we’re at:

  Will ‘n Shakespeare

 Episode One: Barred from Stratford – The Final Chapter

Enjoy and feel free to comment

… or send to Steve Martin

…or one of those Monty Python guys whom I stole so much from.




1. cynosurer - December 14, 2012

A synopsis:

Will, an illiterate twit has the dream of being a playwright. He won’t let a little thing, like not being able to read or write, stop him. He goes as far as trading the family cow for what he thinks is a magic book. When his dad discovers the book to be fake Will is barred from Stratford-on-Avon.

Will travels to London with his Mum. There he meets the love of his life, Juliet – the Virgin Prostitute, and finds employment at his Uncle Omelet’s “Beggars Guild”. On his first day, he manages to have the guild shut down by the sheriff for fraud; seems all the beggars were only actors, faking their afflictions. No longer allowed to work the streets, Will and his uncle form a theater group but instantly realized they are missing something — a hook — something that will draw in high society and the big bucks.

Enter the head fry cook of the Black Friars Pub whose African name was impossible to pronounce, but literally translated, meant “easy to anger; not one to shake a spear at”… that’s right… Shakespeare. Up until now, all the characters spoke with low-brow accents (English, Cockney, Scottish, Irish, Italian, French) but Shakespeare speaks with such eloquence… such lyrical phrasing… that it has developed into a language of its own — Elizabethan Ebonics. People found it captivating, but, much like with their opera and ballet, they were too sophisticated to admit that they couldn’t understand it!

As Omelet and Mum put the cast and crew together Will ‘n Shakespeare work on the play. Will provides the plot and Shakespeare pens the dialog. And now, it’s a race to have a successful opening night before the sheriff can close them down.

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